


The Time Traveling Adventures of Two Proper Ladies

by Inyri



Series: Anna-Elvira [2]
Category: Don Giovanni - Mozart/Da Ponte, Opera
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Historical Fantasy, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-26 15:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2657240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inyri/pseuds/Inyri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Donna Anna & Donna Elvira travel through time and space, bringing their wit and sass to various nerdy places and fandoms. There is going to be plenty of historical fiction, fandom, and opera crossover fun to come!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Time Traveling Adventures of Two Proper Ladies

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my sci-fi/opera venture!
> 
> You don't have to read "The Times are Nightfall" to read this, but there are (inevitably) a few spoilers. So, heads up!
> 
> This is just the short introduction chapter to this (experimental) fic, but expect the following chapters to be rather long and involved. I'm planning to write this fic one chapter at a time and I'll post each chapter as it's completed. You can follow my updates on Tumblr (operarox) and Twitter (cherubino88).
> 
> I encourage all/any ideas! I've already started Chapter 2, which will take place in 17th century England aboard the pirate Captain Love's ship, and I'm planning for Chapter 3 to happen in 18th century Vienna. There may or may not be a certain Marschallin involved... ;) I also see some ancient Rome in this fic's future. Elvira has a thing for Cleopatra it seems.
> 
> As always, I'd like to thank my almighty beta, that-feminist-soprano (on Tumblr!). <3 
> 
> So, without any more chatter from me, enjoy!

I, Donna Anna of Seville, have taken it upon myself to record our activities upon the Time Ship _Lady Destiny_ under the advisement of a man known only as The Entrepreneur. This diary shall serve as our mission log, as well as my own personal record, as I travel with Donna Elvira of Burgos through the greatest reaches of time and space. 

I suppose that I should begin this journal by explaining how Elvira and I came to be in possession of such a singularly fantastic vessel. It all began in the most ordinary of ways, about one year after we’d met. 

  
**XxxXxxXxxXxx**   


_Burgos, Spain – Present Day_

The summer sun pierced through the half-open blinds, finding my vulnerable eyes. I groaned at being awoken, moving to hide my face against the first object I could find. As luck would have it, I found my nose pressed into warm skin, which I quickly identified as Elvira’s bare leg. 

“Ah, look who’s alive,” a velvety voice floated toward me. 

“It’s too early,” I mumbled back. 

Elvira’s fingers wove into my long, sleep-tangled hair, gently massaging my scalp. 

“No such thing,” she replied. 

“Maybe for you.” 

Elvira chuckled and I dared to open one eye. She was sitting up in bed beside me, a paperback in one hand and cheetah-print reading glasses perched on her nose. She wore her super short, silk nightgown, the pink pale against her olive skin. Suddenly, sleeping wasn’t such an alluring idea. 

I let my hand drift down her bare leg, my fingers tracing nonsensical shapes along her shin. 

“Aren’t you a bit young for reading glasses?” I asked. 

“Bad genes,” she answered, taking off the aforementioned glasses to look at me. I watched as a smile started at the edge of her lips, the sentiment echoing in her dark eyes. “And isn’t it a bit too early in the morning for you to take such an intense interest in my reading glasses?” 

“I’m awake.” 

My fingers tracked her near hip, reaching across her stomach in a move to pull her closer to me. She dropped her glasses and book on the night table before turning toward me, giving in to my touch. Her fingers found their way into my hair, bringing my lips to hers. 

Just as I was losing my thoughts to Elvira’s kisses, the doorbell rang, loud and echoing in the quiet house. 

“Dammit,” Elvira whispered against my lips. “Who the hell could that be?” 

She kissed me quickly once and then begrudgingly got out of bed, pulling her robe on over her revealing nightgown and tying the belt. 

“I’ll be right back,” she said, alighting out of the room in bare feet. 

After she had gone, curiosity got the better of me and I crept out of bed, tiptoeing into the hall and listening carefully. 

I heard the click of the deadbolt and the familiar creak of the front door as Elvira opened it. 

“Can I help you?” Elvira asked, her tone polite and impatient all at once. 

“Hello, Elvira,” a feathery male voice responded. 

“Excuse me, do I know you?” Elvira replied, her tone hard. I could hear the tiniest waver of worry in her voice and I inched further down the hall to get a glimpse of this mysterious guest. 

“No,” the man answered confidently. “But I do know you. And Anna. Is she here?” 

The mention of my name made it impossible to stay in the hall, so I stepped out into the foyer completely and I was finally able to see the man in the doorway. He was small, probably only about five feet tall, and he had this wild hair that stuck straight up on top like a Chia Pet. His hands were clasped congenially in front of him, half-covering the purple peace beads that hung around his neck. Something about his eyes made him appear gentle, compassionate. Elvira bore down on him, enhancing their height difference, but he didn’t seem perturbed by her almost aggressive attitude. 

“State your business at once or I will close this door in your face,” Elvira said, nearly growling. I knew that she was on the verge of an explosion, fear and her protective nature stirring up the worst of her temper. I moved to stand beside her, placing a hand on her elbow. 

“Elle,” I whispered. The man’s gaze snapped toward me, a smile overtaking his face. The sheer adoration on his face gave me pause, nearly frightening me with its honesty. Elvira turned to see me and worry clouded her anger for a split second. 

“She _is_ here,” he said and the excitement in his voice puzzled me. “But, of course she would be. I just can’t believe she’s here _in the flesh_.” 

“What is the meaning of this?” Elvira asked, putting herself between me and the guest. “This is your last chance to explain yourself.” 

“I’m here with a rather unique proposition,” he began. “I know you might not believe me, but I’m from the future and I’m here to give you the chance of a lifetime.” 

“The _future_?” Elvira sputtered. I moved closer to Elvira, hoping to project the idea of a united front. 

“He does seem to know us,” I put in gently. Elvira clung to the door with a vicious grip, her expression stormy. 

“I can prove it,” the man offered. I was relieved the man knew better than to immediately ask to come in. That would have sent Elvira into a door-slamming mood for sure. 

“Then prove it,” Elvira challenged. The man seemed pleased with this development, putting his hands in the pockets of his bright teal pants. In this way, he was anything but threatening. 

“After you shot Giovanni,” he began, gesturing toward Elvira, “you didn’t fall apart until early the next morning. You kept yourself together for Anna’s sake, who had gone into shock after the ordeal and had to be hospitalized.” 

Elvira just stared at him and I found myself staring at him, too. The facts of my hospitalization could be found out easily enough, but there was no way for him to know such intimate details about Elvira. We hadn’t told anyone about that moment. 

“How can you know that?” Elvira asked softly. 

“Anna wrote about it in her book,” the man answered simply. 

“My book?” I echoed. This was just getting wilder and wilder. 

“Yes,” the man said with a smile. “In the future, you will write a book about your life. You included many details about your relationship with Elvira and, specifically, the situation surrounding its beginning. It’s a best-seller.” 

Elvira felt tight beside me, so I laid a hand on her side. She unconsciously leaned into my touch, her breathing a bit labored as she processed this new information. I was almost as tense as she felt, but her nearness gave me some comfort. 

“This is just too absurd,” she said finally. 

“It’s about to get far more absurd,” the man commented with an easy smile. 

He just stood there, waiting for a response from us, and when I realized that Elvira was momentarily incapable of speech, I said, 

“At least give us a moment to get dressed. You don’t mind waiting out here for a few minutes, do you?” 

“Not at all,” he said. “I understand.” 

I smiled meekly at him from behind Elvira and then reached around her to close the door and turn the deadbolt. 

Once we were alone, Elvira clutched my waist with an intensity that matched her frantic expression and she said, 

“I haven’t read much science fiction. What the hell are we supposed to do now?” 

I chuckled at this, happy that she assumed that I had, in fact, read some science fiction. Which, of course, I had. 

“I think we should hear him out,” I said. “I’m too intrigued not to.” 

“Yes, yes,” Elvira agreed quickly, leaning her head against mine for support. “So, one thing at a time. We get dressed and then we let him in and listen to what he has to say over breakfast.” 

“That sounds like a good plan,” I said, nuzzling my nose in her hair. 

“And coffee.” 

“Naturally.” 

  
**XxxXxxXxx**   


So, the three of us sat at the table eating toast and talking about time travel. This man, who called himself The Entrepreneur, wanted us to go on a journey (of our choosing) through time in his specially-crafted time machine and to keep records of our trips, which he would later turn into a profit. Apparently, our love story was very popular in the future, brought to the public attention by my autobiography, and he knew he could make more money off of us. Elvira remained skeptical, as only she could, but I was excited to see this time machine. 

After we’d finished eating, he took us to Elvira’s backyard to show us the machine. We didn’t see anything at first and I thought that maybe this whole thing had been too good to be true. But then The Entrepreneur pulled a small gadget out of his pocket and a white, metal door opened in mid-air right next to the giraffe topiary in the backyard. 

Elvira grabbed my hand instinctively, her arm flush against mine. 

“It’s called the _Lady Destiny_ ,” he said proudly, “and it was made especially for you two. Would you like to go inside?” 

“Why can’t we see it?” Elvira asked. 

“All Time Ships are camouflaged for security purposes,” he explained. 

“I suppose that makes sense,” I responded, thinking through the various problems a visible time machine could cause. 

“We have thought of everything,” The Entrepreneur assured us with an exuberant smile. “For example, the _Lady Destiny_ will not allow you to travel to places in time where you could possibly alter the timeline. So you cannot travel within your own lifetime and you cannot travel to times which are tenuous and can be upset by the smallest interference. The ship calculates the strength of each possible time period and reacts accordingly. In this way, time travel is made safe even for you two, who don’t know the rules of time travel.” 

Then, he put out a hand, urging us to walk through the door. 

“After you,” Elvira insisted, glaring at the small man in a manner that suggested she had no intentions of entering until he had. 

“Very well,” he conceded, leading us into the ship. Elvira held tightly to my hand, walking ahead of me into our brand new Time Ship. 

The inside looked like it had been designed by a professional interior decorator, everything matching gorgeously in pastels and whites. It was essentially a luxury apartment with a few gadgets tucked away here and there. Elvira gasped when she saw the huge bathtub in the bathroom and I felt similar awe at the enormous bed in the master bedroom. The kitchen was small, but functional, and the dining room earned Elvira’s approval. The living room was well-stocked with books and movies. Overstuffed chairs and a long couch complemented the large television screen and I smiled at the sophisticated stereo system at the other end of the room. 

“Very nice,” Elvira murmured to no one in particular when we ended our tour in the living room. 

“I hoped you would approve,” The Entrepreneur said. “There are two other functions which I must show you. Then, I’ll leave you to your devices.” 

“Wait,” Elvira said, putting up a hand. “You’re telling me that you’re going to give us a space ship and then just leave us to it?” 

“Time Ship, not space ship,” he corrected. “And I can answer that question by explaining one of the two futuristic features that I just mentioned. You see, we’re not truly leaving you on your own. We’ve installed a human-interface computer into this ship. So the ship thinks for itself and communicates with us in the future when necessary.” 

“And can we talk to this computer?” I asked. 

“Yes,” he answered with a smile. “Let me introduce you to VIRGIL.” He waved a hand in the air, as if introducing someone, but nothing changed. 

“Virgil?” Elvira asked. 

“That’s what we named the computer. You can address him at any time by just saying his name. And he has a humanoid feature.” 

“What exactly does that mean?” I asked, visions of several famous robots racing through my mind. 

“I’ll show you,” he said. Then, with an authoritative voice, he commanded, “Virgil, please turn on humanoid mode and report to the living room.” 

“Yes, sir,” came a pleasant, masculine voice from nowhere. Elvira jumped beside me, clutching my hand a bit tighter. 

The door to the living room opened and a man walked through. He was well-dressed, wearing a cravat of all things, and he had this lovely wavy brown hair. 

“Can I be of service?” he asked, his voice matching the voice that the computer had used a moment before. 

“See,” The Entrepreneur said. “You will not be on your own. Virgil can pilot the ship, help with chores, perform first aid, and do a number of other crucial tasks. You only have to ask. He adheres to the amplified Asimov Laws, so he can’t do anything to harm you and he will defend you against harmful outside sources. He’s a bodyguard and a butler all in one. Also, he has all the knowledge of the past and future, so he can be your guide through time.” 

Elvira stared at the android in astonishment, and a tiny bit of fear, but I could only feel awe. The robot looked completely human to me – a huge accomplishment, I knew – and I had only dreamed of seeing something so advanced. I felt as though I’d stepped into a novel. I couldn’t be more excited. 

“He’s wonderful,” I said, awe obvious in my tone. 

“I knew you’d like him,” The Entrepreneur said, turning his attention to me. “Now, I really must be going soon. But there’s one more thing I must explain.” 

He started out of the living room, moving back toward the kitchen. We followed and I wondered what could possibly equal our own personal android. 

Once there, he pointed to a small cut-out in the wall. There was a small button beside it, but otherwise it just looked like a cube had been taken out of the wall. 

“This machine can create clothing, food, and simple objects at your request,” he said. 

“Like a replicator!” I couldn’t stop myself from saying. Elvira looked at me like I’d just spoken a foreign language and The Entrepreneur chuckled. 

“Yes, like a replicator,” he said. 

“It’s a Star Trek thing,” I explained to Elvira. 

“You just have to press the button and explain what you want,” he said. “It’s simple.” 

“Sorcery,” Elvira muttered. 

Suddenly, there was a tinny beeping sound and The Entrepreneur looked at his watch. 

“Alright, I must be going. But best of luck to you both. I look forward to reading about your adventures.” 

“But we haven’t agreed,” Elvira interjected. 

The Entrepreneur just smiled. 

“Oh, but you will.” 

  
**XxxXxxXxx**   


We laid in bed that night, the key to the Time Ship on Elvira’s night table. I attempted to read _Robinson Crusoe_ while Elvira went through her nightly moisturizing routine, her legs stretched out on the sheets as she spread lotion on them. 

I noticed that the atmosphere in the room had turned tense, so I looked up from my book to take in Elvira’s expression. She looked deep in thought, consternation drawing tiny lines on her forehead. I reached out a hand, lightly touching her knee as I put my book down. 

“What are you thinking?” I asked. 

“Just how insane today was,” she answered evenly. She spent another moment vigorously rubbing lotion into one calf and then, in a gesture of resignation, she looked at me. 

“I’m just not sure what to think of it all,” she admitted. 

“Neither do I,” I said, settling my hand on her knee. “But that’s alright.” 

Elvira pressed her palm to her forehead, squeezing her eyes closed. Then, in a burst of energy, she nearly shouted, 

“Anna, there’s a damn _space ship_ in our backyard!” 

I didn’t bother to correct her. 

“It is strange,” I said. “But it’s also kind of exciting. Think of the possibilities.” 

Elvira let out a long sigh, her shoulders collapsing as her intensity lessened slightly. 

“I’m sure your nerd brain is having a field day,” she said with a small smile. “I can just imagine that you’re thinking right now about shaking hands with Einstein or Shakespeare or something.” 

She wasn’t far off. I’d spent the entire day since The Entrepreneur’s departure mentally creating a wish list of all the places I wanted to visit and all the people I wanted to see. 

“Something like that,” I said. 

She looked at my hand, which still rested on her knee, and her mood shifted again. She laid her hand atop mine, a pensive quietness emanating from her. 

“But is it safe?” she asked softly. “I can’t take the risk of you doing anything that isn’t safe.” 

I shook my head, saying, 

“I saw the light in that man’s eyes. He really does love us. He wouldn’t put us in danger.” 

Elvira thought about this for a moment, tracing her fingers over the back of my hand. 

“He really did fawn over you,” she agreed. “And he _did_ build us a whole ship.” 

“Right. It wouldn’t make sense for him to go through all this trouble just to put us in danger. On the contrary, it seems like he has done everything in his power to keep us out of trouble.” 

“If such a thing is possible,” Elvira said with a smirk in my direction. 

“Don’t blame me,” I said, picking up on her playful mood and continuing it. “It’s a team effort.” 

Elvira smiled at me and I leaned forward, pressing my lips to hers. I let the kiss linger for a moment before I pulled away slightly, looking her in the eye as I said, 

“But thank you for being concerned.” 

“Try and stop me,” she challenged before covering my mouth with her own. She kissed me fiercely, pulling me down into the pillows. Her arms circled around my waist, drawing me close to her. The heat of her body and the familiar scent of her perfume comforted me as I settled gratefully into her embrace. 

She kissed me a moment more and then she pulled away, smiling as she asked, 

“Time travel?” 

“Time travel,” I answered, nodding. 

“I’m game if you are.” 

“I am.” 

“We’ll start tomorrow,” she decided, winding her fingers into my hair. “But, before we leave, there are a few things I want to do…”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the style of the Entrepreneur was an homage to the lovely Peter Sellars <3


End file.
